Friends with Benefits: How Friendly? How Sexual? | Psychology Today
Friends with benefits (FWB) describes couples who are more than friends but less than committed lovers. They're friends who, now and then, also have sex . They're not deeply involved and remain free to date others. But they value the friendship , feel mutual affection, and sometimes make love.
FWB relationships are not new. I imagine they've been around in some form forever. But the term "FWB" is fairly recent. I began hearing it about 10 years ago. (If anyone knows more about the history of this term, please comment.)
FWB is most common among young adults. As they grow older, will this this new relationship wrinkle extend into mature adulthood? Time will tell.
In the meantime, FWB relationships raise some questions: How friendly are FWB? How much sex do they have? And what becomes of these liaisons? Researchers at Wayne State University in Detroit and Michigan State in East Lansing surveyed 125 undergraduates (65 women, 60 men). [Bisson, MA and TR Levine, "Negotiating a Friends with Benefits Relationship,"
Sixty percent (40 men, 35 women) said they'd been involved in an FWB relationship, and about one-third were in one when surveyed.
Of the total sample, almost two-thirds (62 percent) said men and women can remain "just friends" while being FWB. The rest said it was impossible, that FWB must soon decide to be friends without sex, or become official lovers. FWB veterans felt more optimistic: 81 percent (34 men, 26 women) said it was quite possible to be happily FWB.
Before they became sexual, FWB couples were friends for an average of 14 months. Some remained long-term FWB (28 percent). But most FWB relationships changed after about six months. Many remained friends but stopped having sex (36 percent). Relatively few became romantically coupled (10 percent). And for some, both the friendship and the sex ended (26 percent).
FWB couples reported various sexual frequencies: only once (19 percent), occasionally (52 percent), and frequently (29 percent).
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